The Best 3 Bourbons to Get You Through Thanksgiving with Family (Because You Deserve It)
Ah, Thanksgiving. A day meant for gratitude… and bourbon. Let’s not sugarcoat it: if you’re not reaching for a drink by 3 p.m., you’re probably either a saint or delusional. Between dodging questions about your career, Cousin Steve’s latest flat-earth rant, and Aunt Marge once again implying that your life choices aren’t quite where they should be (because you’re not married, don’t have kids, and freelance for a living—whatever that means), you’ll need something strong to survive this particular version of a family reunion.
Of course, you’re not alone in this struggle. You’ve probably got a Dad who’s been “working” in the garage for the past three hours just to avoid the whole circus, pretending he’s fixing the lawnmower (again), when we all know the only thing getting fixed is his sanity. And hey, what better way to bond with him than sharing a drink or two while you both hide out from the chaos of it all?
Here are three bourbons to make sure you survive Thanksgiving—and maybe even enjoy it—while keeping your dignity intact. And if your Dad’s like mine, these might just help you both get through the day without staging a full-on escape to the nearest bar.
1. Wild Turkey 101 – The “I’m Ready for a Fight” Bourbon
Thanksgiving is basically the Super Bowl of family arguments, and if you’re like most of us, you’re bracing yourself for someone to start up about politics, religion, or the fact that you still haven’t “settled down” yet. So when it inevitably happens—whether it’s Cousin Steve explaining how the moon landing was faked (again), or Aunt Marge giving you that side-eye while she asks when you’re going to have kids—you’re going to need Wild Turkey 101.
At 101 proof, this bourbon is the heavyweight champ of holiday survival. It’s bold and spicy, perfect for shutting downthe loud family member whose voice seems to get higher with every topic change. Sip this while you pretend to care, nod politely, and smile like you’re about to crack. Wild Turkey 101 doesn’t back down, and neither should you. It’ll keep you from throwing in the towel—or throwing a punch—when someone starts spouting off about how much “better” things were back in their day.
Best for: Sticking it out through the football arguments and dealing with the inevitable family fist fight over who’s going to get the last slice of turkey. And when Aunt Marge starts in on you again, you’ll have just enough liquid courage to handle it.
2. Knob Creek 9-Year-Old – The “I’m Just Here for the Food (and the Liquor)” Bourbon
By the time you’ve navigated the early rounds of Thanksgiving dinner—the small talk, the awkward silences, the political spats—you’re in need of something a little more smooth. Enter Knob Creek 9-Year-Old. This bourbon’s smooth, rich, and a bit more refined than Wild Turkey 101, which means you can sip on it while pretending to care about Uncle Jerry’s insistence that “back in the day, you could actually buy a house for $25,000.”
It’s the kind of drink that lets you escape into a quiet corner while still giving you enough backbone to endure when your cousin starts telling everyone about his latest “business venture” (which is actually just another MLM scheme). You’ll find yourself sipping this quietly as you wish you could be anywhere but in this room full of relatives—and as the bourbon takes the edge off, you might even consider the possibility that you can make it through the night without running away screaming.
Best for: Grinning and bearing it when Aunt Marge questions your life choices while her kid’s on parole and the other one is making bank on OnlyFans—and not losing your cool when she asks, “So when are you going to get a real job?”
3. Evan Williams Black Label – The “I’m Just Here for the Pie and to Get the Hell Out” Bourbon
Look, at this point in the day, you’re really just waiting for dessert. You’ve survived the turkey, the awkward small talk, and the loud football arguments, and now you just want to chill and get through the last few hours before it’s finally socially acceptable to leave. That’s when Evan Williams Black Label comes in.
It’s cheap, it’s reliable, and it won’t make you regret pouring yourself a couple extra glasses just to get through the endless rounds of “Who’s bringing what to Christmas?” It’s got enough of a kick (86 proof) to keep you semi-conscious while you wait for everyone to finish their meal coma so you can slip out without anyone noticing. You and your Dad can hide out in the garage with a couple of generous pours of Evan Williams, pretending to “work” on stuff while watching the chaos unfold from the safety of your shared bourbon haven. You’ll get through the awkward questions and political debates just fine—especially when you’re drinking something reliable and low-key that doesn’t make you feel like you’re losing your will to live.
Best for: Slipping away with your dad to the garage while everyone else is arguing over the TV remote. Perfect for when you’re just trying to get through the meal, dodge the same old questions, and avoid any more unnecessary family drama. Plus, it pairs nicely with pie. (Because, let’s be real, that’s the only reason you showed up anyway.
So there you have it: three bourbons that’ll get you through the chaos of Thanksgivings, from Aunt Marge’s life advice to Cousin Steve’s latest “truth bombs.” Whether you’re hiding in the kitchen with a hip flask, sharing a drink with your Dad in the garage while you sort out exactly HOW you’re related to these people, or bracing yourself for a fist fight over the last slice of pie, these bourbons will keep you steady, sane, and just buzzed enough to survive until dessert.
And when it’s finally time to go home, you can give your Dad a nod and a quiet thanks for staying in the garage with you—because, honestly, we all need someone to hide with during family holidays. Here’s to surviving Thanksgiving. Cheers!
